My wife was 13 weeks pregnant when we learned there was a 99% chance our son could have DS. My wife received the call the day after we had our 3D scan showing us the gender of our baby.
It was the day after we named him.
My wife was the one who explained the possibility of him having Down Syndrome to me. At birth, however, while my wife was recovering from c-section the doctor told me “You, know what’s wrong with him right?” Of course, I said no, because, with all the difficulties experienced during delivery, DS was the furthest thing from my mind.
My initial reaction to the news was denial. I truly believed that while he may have DS he would not have any physical and/or learning disabilities as a result of it. Instead, I believed he would overcome all obstacles without issues.
My biggest initial fears were that he wouldn’t live long. I couldn’t bare the thought of losing my son. Before my son was born I didn’t know anyone with Down Syndrome.
When it came to telling others…The last thing my wife and I wanted was sympathy. We were very careful in releasing the information so that it was made public to as many of our friends and family as possible all at one time. We tried to eliminate the chatter of ‘did you hear’. Once the diagnosis was confirmed, our Pastor made the perfect announcement to our church congregation as my wife and I listened online. We both posted the information on our social media pages immediately following. We have experienced nothing but positive feedback and support.
Obstacles to accepting the diagnosis…
It was hard to see beyond my son’s perfection. He is pure love. It is still hard at times to accept the diagnosis because when I see Zane, I see my son and he is perfect to me.
As far as health issues, Zane was born with 5 small holes in his heart, a hernia, difficulty breathing, and low blood sugar.
Aside from having legal guardianship of our 16yo nephew, Zane is our only child.
My wife has been very accepting of the diagnosis. But she was a little upset in the beginning due to being afraid of the unknown.
We have never looked at Zane’s diagnosis as being something negative in our life. If anything, his diagnosis has made our relationship stronger. It has also made my faith in God stronger. All the struggles that Zane has overcome have been amazing to me. He is our little miracle. My superhero.
I have never seen DS while looking at my child. I see Zane, my son. The perfect little red head with a Mohawk and webbed toes on both feet. The fighter who pushes himself hard to meet his milestones. And the angel who is full of more love than a human being could possibly have.
My faith in God is what has really enabled me to embrace the diagnosis. I know that He picked my wife and I to care for Zane like only we can do. We have a church family as well as our personal families who stand behind us and support us in every way.
All of our friends and family have responded with love.
The changes in our life now are mainly, just lack of sleep. But seriously, My goals have changed. Things that I thought were once important don’t seem to matter anymore. Such as my game time, purchase sand so on. I am more family oriented now. Each day I look forward to hearing about or seeing what new obstacles Zane has overcome. It is amazing to watch him progress. Zane is 10months old now.
Kellie and Eric have been married for 6 years and have legal guardianship of their 16-year-old nephew whom they are in the process of adopting.
Zane is the couple’s only child. The couple welcomed a beautiful baby girl in February so they now have 2 beautiful babies! Kellie went through one month of a failed fertility treatments before declining any further treatment. The very next month she got pregnant with their son Zane. Eric and Kellie were very excited and knew their life was about to change, but they didn’t know just how blessed they would really be. Follow along on Instagram @zanes_dad